The Night That Changed Desmond’s Life, and the Sanctuary That Saved Him 

 Desmond spent a week in Amsterdam, and afterward, his life was permanently changed.  

 

At the time he was living in Galway as a performer, dressing up as a female impersonator and singing cover songs in various venues. Desmond’s friend, who lived in Holland, invited him to come and spend a week at his apartment. 

 

While there, Desmond and his friend took a variety of recreational drugs. His friend was more accustomed to using them, but Desmond was not. 

 

Upon his return to Ireland, he found himself in a state of psychosis. He shared with me that when he was back sleeping in his own bed, he had a horrible dream. He woke up one night and thought to himself, “You have to go, you have to leave your apartment now... Or else you will be a worm for the rest of your life.”  

 

He then crawled out the window of his bedroom and was wandering the streets of Galway. In this state of desperation, he found himself at the front steps of his church, banging on the doors, begging “In the name of God, let me in.”  

 

Eventually, the police saw him on the street, and he woke up in a jail cell the next morning. No one could identify him. He was then taken to a psychiatric hospital.  

 

“For 10 to 15 years, I used to judge my life between before that night and after that night,” Desmond shared. He told me he has never been the same since.  

 

Ann, Desmond’s friend, came to collect him from the hospital and offered him a place to stay. He lived with her while he slowly regained his bearings.  

 

Some time later, Ann suggested attend a weekend meditation retreat at a Buddhist Centre in Cavan.  

 

On one morning of the retreat, Desmond recalled “As the light came in the window and my eyes were kind of half closed, I thought, There’s something about today, what is it... And then I remembered. It’s the 17th of October, 1999. It is exactly a year to the day, when I went to the door of my church, and I called out to God, ‘In the name of God, let me in.’ And it was as if God had answered my prayers, but, in his own time.” He finally felt he had found the sanctuary he was pleading for a year prior. 

 

Desmond has now been volunteering at Jampa Ling Buddhist Meditation Centre in Cavan for the last 20 years. He has taken up a managerial role, often drawing on his performance skills to lead presentations, events, and celebrations put on at the Centre.  

 

I met Desmond when I myself volunteered and lived at Jampa Ling for four months last year. Our first interaction was when he collected me at the bus stop, wearing a suit with his hair gelled back. I quickly learned that you will never witness Desmond leaving the house without a suit on.  

 

He shared this story with me while we were walking together along the river one Autumn afternoon. I was touched by his resilience, and his willingness to be vulnerable about a painful period that others may prefer to bury.  

 

Desmond is a testament to how life is completely unpredictable, and how, even after the darkest of moments, there can be relief, transformation, and a renewed sense of purpose.